Buffy is an enormous jerk for saying, “But, Spike, if I were trying to have a normal life…you’d be exactly what I’d be running from,”

That was my initial reaction, too, except I used words much stronger than "jerk." :-P But, when I went over it again and thought about everything she's been saying lately (e.g., she fails at normal, she's not ready for responsibility), I think she was trying to say that she isn't looking for "normal." She tried normal with the job and friends and apartment, but all that went to pot. She wound up living with a vampire on an inter-dimensional-traveling spaceship, complaining about giant insect legs littering her room. I think maybe she's beginning to realize that "normal" isn't her cup of tea, but she said it in the complete the wrong way. She realizes she screwed up, but it's too late. If someone had said those words to me, I would have heard them exactly as Spike did. I admire his ability to walk away; I probably would have throttled her. :-P

“I can give you what you need. I want normal, too. And I want it with you” makes me ADLFKJADLKFJALFKJALDFJALKDJFADFKJADLKF.

I know, right? Any woman who doesn't swoon at those words would have to be made of stone...or, you know, plastic and wires. :-P