Yeah, I mean, that's the way that societal conditioning tells teenage boys to act, you're right. It's just...I kind of hate the idea that that's what's typical, you know? I guess I know some really extraordinary guys.
Or the guys just wouldn't show you that side to them. In my experience, girls are fairly blind to which guys are jerks (and vice versa, with most guys blind to which girls are jerks), and people often speak differently around people of the gender they are attracted to then when not.
I'm probably never going to go from finding someone straight-up unattractive to finding them really hot, even if their personality is awesome. But if the person starts out pretty average, then personality makes all the difference. Does that make any sense at all?
Absolutely. Attractiveness is the sum of both physical and non-physical factors, to different degrees.
Do you personally think it's because you're socially conditioned to not even think that way? Because I would think you'd be able to evaluate someone aesthetically if not from a sexual-attractiveness perspective.
Am I being coherent at all? I'm incredibly interested in this topic. :D
Haha, I understand what you're saying. My theory is that the evaluation of appearance is learned, and that guys simply have very little in the way of practice when it comes to evaluting other guys.
Female social status in our society is primarily driven by physical apperance, and as a consequence, girls learn to evaluate themselves and each other as a critical social skill. By contrast, guys do not need to care anywhere near as much about their own appearances, and bother comparing themselves to other guys due to lack of necessity. Noticeable aversions exist among straight males who work in fashion or the entertainment industry, because they are used to being judged and judging other males in appearance and so have developed that skill.
Personally, I just don't really know what's considered attractive for a guy; it's hard for me to evaluate even my own appearance. While I'm aware that most girls consider me 'cute', this is informed by others, not because I look in the mirror and find myself attractive. I am, however, able to evaluate my physique's attractiveness, since as an athlete I am used to comparing guys on that basis (but even there I am aware that studies have shown that even though most guys think being 'buff' looks good, most girls prefer slimmer 'dancer' type bodies on their men).
In a way, I don't think it's that different from the evaluation of art. If you have little experience critiquing abstract art or poetry or classical music, then it is very difficult to provide aesthetic analysis, beyond perhaps a basic level.
no subject
Or the guys just wouldn't show you that side to them. In my experience, girls are fairly blind to which guys are jerks (and vice versa, with most guys blind to which girls are jerks), and people often speak differently around people of the gender they are attracted to then when not.
I'm probably never going to go from finding someone straight-up unattractive to finding them really hot, even if their personality is awesome. But if the person starts out pretty average, then personality makes all the difference. Does that make any sense at all?
Absolutely. Attractiveness is the sum of both physical and non-physical factors, to different degrees.
Do you personally think it's because you're socially conditioned to not even think that way? Because I would think you'd be able to evaluate someone aesthetically if not from a sexual-attractiveness perspective.
Am I being coherent at all? I'm incredibly interested in this topic. :D
Haha, I understand what you're saying. My theory is that the evaluation of appearance is learned, and that guys simply have very little in the way of practice when it comes to evaluting other guys.
Female social status in our society is primarily driven by physical apperance, and as a consequence, girls learn to evaluate themselves and each other as a critical social skill. By contrast, guys do not need to care anywhere near as much about their own appearances, and bother comparing themselves to other guys due to lack of necessity. Noticeable aversions exist among straight males who work in fashion or the entertainment industry, because they are used to being judged and judging other males in appearance and so have developed that skill.
Personally, I just don't really know what's considered attractive for a guy; it's hard for me to evaluate even my own appearance. While I'm aware that most girls consider me 'cute', this is informed by others, not because I look in the mirror and find myself attractive. I am, however, able to evaluate my physique's attractiveness, since as an athlete I am used to comparing guys on that basis (but even there I am aware that studies have shown that even though most guys think being 'buff' looks good, most girls prefer slimmer 'dancer' type bodies on their men).
In a way, I don't think it's that different from the evaluation of art. If you have little experience critiquing abstract art or poetry or classical music, then it is very difficult to provide aesthetic analysis, beyond perhaps a basic level.
Edit: for clarity